How to wash a cat.


  • 1 toilet
  • 1 toilet brush
  • 1 bottle toilet cleaner
  • 1 bottle cat shampoo
  • 1 bottle cat conditioner
  • 1 helper (preferably a heavy person who is a stranger to the cat, with leather gloves and thick boots)
  1. Clean out the toilet real nice, removing all stains and smells.
  2. Flush the toilet, after it fills up, add shampoo and conditioner, following instructions on label.
  3. Get the cat. Love the cat. Pet the cat. Talk nice to the cat.
  4. Drop the cat into the toilet, close lid quickly.
  5. Have helper stand on toilet lid. (The boots will protect their feet from getting slashed…)
  6. Open all doors leading out of the house. Make sure no living creatures are located between the toilet and the outside.
  7. Flush twice. Once for the wash, once for the rinse.
  8. Have helper open the lid (gloves will come in handy here…)