Category Archives: All About Me

Rememberies, part 2.

I think we lived in Southern California for just a couple of years, probably moving out when I was three or four. My first sister was born there in ’65. I don’t remember much else about living there but two things…

First, I remember going with Dad to pick up the new car. I was a brand new 1965 GTO convertible (the Goat as it came to be known), bright lemon-yellow with a convertible top. We drove for a long time to get to the dealer I guess and i really remember the long drive back in the sun with the top down. Dad had that Goat for many years after that. It had a stuffed tiger on the front dashboard, his tail disappeared down one defroster vent and came out of the other. The eyes lit up with the turn signals…

Second, I remember driving around the base at night, past the antenna farms with all the blue and red clearance lights. I was shaking my head back and forth, being entertained by the lines and streaks the lights made… I don’t know why I remember it, if just pops up from time to time…

Some of the pictures I remember from that time… Me, in a “painted” desert scene. It looks like I am looking down at the Goat, it’s a toy in front of my feet. Actually dad setup the picture, I’m standing on a hill and the car is in the background… Still, I smile when I see it.

Another picture… Me with my pants around my ankles, my bare ass showing as I’m pissing in a public toilet! This is one of those blackmail pictures parents show to your girlfriends or fiancee when you introduce them to the folks!! My wife saw that picture when we went to see Dad a few years ago. He went a little out of his way to make sure she seen it… uh-huh…

I’ve seen other pictures… me in a fenced in yard, my first sister as a baby… I don’t really remember all that. But I still remember the pictures…

Next Stop: The Goat goes to JAPAN!!

Rememberies, Part 1

My first “real” memory was of myself probably about 2 years old or so. I’m sitting on a hardwood floor, in a patch of warm sunshine coming in through the screen door. I’m playing with plastic dinosaurs, all shapes and sizes, in neon colors. I remember being warm and happy but not much else. I think we were living somewhere in Southern California at the time, my dad having just got his first real assignment in the Navy. Also, I remember seeing a photograph from this time, me in a Navy Dixie cup hat, chubby cheek baby, drinking from a water fountain as someone holds me up, somewhere on a Navy base, I guess… I don’t remember the actual experience…

When I say “real” memory I mean one that wasn’t brought up from and old picture or movie. Sometimes I’ll think of something from the past and the images I get are in black and white! I was always a big one for looking through the extensive photo albums we had and some of those pictures have implanted themselves as memories, sometimes replacing the images I already had. It seems the black and white “memories” have stuck around a longer time becuase they were reinforced better. A real memory is only experienced once, even and old black and white photograph can be “re-lived” countless times…

My dad was a great one for taking pictures and Super 8mm, until recently I had a video tape of some old 8mm he took when us kids were young, doing things I could not remember doing until I saw the images on the TV. Making new “old memories,” I guess, laying down new pathways in the brain. How much real experience was “overwritten” to make way for the “modified” memories, I wonder. Even though I’m just 38, I’ve seen a lot of stuff, been all over the world and packed a lot of images and memories in this old skull. Good times, bad times, thing I wish I had done better, things I wish I could do the same all over again, regrets, desires…

Maybe that’s one of the reasons I want to write some of this stuff down. To help jog my memory, to records something of what I was before I get old and forget all of it. I fear that, a little bit; not being able to remember what I’ve experienced being alive for a lot of years…

When I was a kid I wanted so much to be “grown-up” because everything moved so slow and I “knew” only good things could happen to me as a grown-up. Well, I know how all that went… When you are 10 years old, a year is one-tenth of your life experience and seems to take forever to go by. When you are forty, a year is only one-fortieth of your life and just screams on past, sometimes too fast to grab hold of.

Would I trade everything to be back in 1964, playing in that spot of sun? On the cusp of doing it all over again? Good question… If I had to make a conscious choice to go back, I don’t know if I could. As fucked up as my life has become, I’ve got a lot of memories I want to keep forever, memories I would not have if I had done something different down the line. But if the choice was made by someone, something else, and I found myself back with the neon dinosaurs? I would enjoy living that life all over again, you bet your ass…

Baby Black and Blues

We’ve got a new “baby” here at the ranch, a 2 and a half pound, eight-week old bundle of puppy, a little yap dog rat terrier, called “Teena.” I’ve seen these dogs grown up, they are great jumpers and climbers, and they corner well too!

The Wife decided a few weeks ago to keep an eye out for a new puppy she can baby… We happened to check a pet store that was advertising “Oodles of Poodles” (apparently you only need four to be considered an oodle, I always thought and oodle was more than a bunch but less than a shitload…) when this fat, stubby, little ankle biter caught her eye. Having the rent due in less than a week, I offered to put a deposit on it for her, but once she had the thing out, there was no putting it back…

I laughed my ass off the first time Teena growled and barked at our dobie, a dog who could eat it in two bites if it weren’t such a sweetie…